Hell Hold Maybe everyones world once in a while

Locked inside trying to break free your a bird
in a cage trying to get the lock broke so you
can fly away to where you truely want to be
yet your locked up in a place you want to
call Hell tortured and treated as a slave
your abused and held down either to pop the
things you get on your face when you grow up
or to stop you from running away but life as we
know or as we knew growing up was a place we
hated we called it Hell we wanted a place far
away that could actually make us feel like we had
a home ... everyone thinks this once in a while
it isnt just me or some old man on the side walk
the home we live in can be a torture chamber that
we never talk about that we never want to be in
..... you want a normal place where you can be loved
where you can have what you dont remember
instead the Hell has washed away all your memories
has teared you up and made your mind completely
fogged so you cant see if you hurt someone cause
in your own opinion to you that is right because
that is how you grew up that is all you know and
all you have experienced yet when you do find
this magical world that will take you from the chaos
your locked in you come to believe it is a dream
just a fantasy and the people you meet are lies
that your mind has made up .. come to believe
that the one who says they Love you with all
their hearts and want you to be happy is just
some type of mirage put there to play with you
... can our minds ever be cleared or do we have yet
another fight to come..... how do we talk to others
without being treated like we our in our househeld
that we hide behind the mask we put on to cover up
the broken heart we have the tears that fall down our face
the blurred vision we get and the heart burns we have
soon maybe even i will have to go to the emergency
room so they can bring me back to life to help
me wake up from my eternal sleep that i have put
myself in cause it was an escape from Hell....

Images i seen i look away from
to hide what i know was my choice
to be the way i am was not a choice
i made it is far from what i want it
is opposite of what i am known for
i can be the most depressed person
on earth with the scars to prove it
but i am the best friend that you can
call on to sit there and listen to what
you want to say or to be there for you
to have a shoulder to cry on .... I am
everybodys friend if you have an
issue with me than i dont know what
it could be unless if you didnt like something
i said which in your case was the truth
about how you act or how you are toward others
I am willing to stand up for people i care
about even though they are jerks or can
be one anyways but no one is perfect
there are things we are dealing with in life that
when we actually can get away from them
we dont know what to do with the freedom we hold
so we do what we have seen and no we dont realize
that what we have seen sometimes is not the
right thing to do cause it hurts people
sometimes we need someone to wake us up to
sit there and take a min to help us realize
that in real life we were treated not like we wanted to
be but in our world we create how everything is
we dont let others run it we need to open our
eyes and look not at the villians you live with but at
the friends you make by being your self and the
loved ones that truely stay by yourside
until your death has come to take that away .

I let my soul finally rest
just to enter the peace
that i search for or do i
stay awake and find the pain
... i pull myself out of the
sorrow i was in i finally found
an anchor that will stop me from
moving and finally found the
person that i know will catch me
when i fall but does he know
does he realize how much he
has meant we were friends at first
than it moved forward but when
we hit that next step i froze and
it hurt him i couldnt do it not
cause of him but cause of me
.... My dreams that haunt my
present that i can never throw
away with the past i have lost
i am tortured and haunted by the
deaths of love ones and now i am
scared looking at those memories
to lose the final one that i come to
Love that i come to treasure
have i already lost him or is he still
with me no matter what i do ...
I dont wish to hurt him but in
the same sense i dont want him
out of my life completely i want him
until my last breath is taken from me
until the last shard of my heart has been
crushed and broken to bits so that
i live in an enternal sleep and nothing more...

I am taught that once you fall in
love there is no way to get out
you try so hard you tell your self
that you are no one but yet you
meet that person Destiny has for
you and there you are watching
your heart change watching all these
feelings u thought you didn't have come
out yet again you finally became someone
... Now you wonder if it is a good thing or
do you need to turn away from this and walk away
and go back to being nothing go back
to not existing , take away all the feelings you
have cause now everyone plays with them
and go back to that lonely girl that had no one
though there were people there , but you were
the girl everyone wanted to be around yet wanted
to stay far away cause your always lost in your thoughts
blacking out having no one to catch you
in the end is all of this true ...
I learned everyone finds something that they are made to do
if it is to be with someone or to be the lonely girl or
cowards in the back corner ...
i am scared to go back yet i am scared to go forward
so i am stuck in between learning of everyone else's
feelings to hopefully help them stay alive even though i
will die i will give up my life just to make sure the one i love
and the people that i have yet to come to know stay alive
and endure less suffering than i ever have....
i go to people as a friend showing them i care but do they believe
me or was everything i did a lie .... i feel like i am a mistake
my anger will soon destroy me so will my sorrow.